Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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