He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize