i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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