Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
