i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
