I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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