the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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