you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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