u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
