I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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