Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize