Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.

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(312): Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis. http://tfl.nu/m3hq

Replies (12) Good night (2032) Bad night (715)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/

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(507): your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/ http://tfl.nu/cbt7

Replies (52) Good night (1199) Bad night (6185)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

(609): View more from New Jersey

ravioli

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(609): So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up (1-609): i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one (609): ravioli http://tfl.nu/eoaw

Replies (38) Good night (5166) Bad night (2820)
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(214): View more from Texas

A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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(214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj

Replies (65) Good night (28799) Bad night (2241)
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(206): View more from Washington

He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

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(206): He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful. http://tfl.nu/c0jh

Replies (29) Good night (1101) Bad night (3550)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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(828): last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew. http://tfl.nu/yza6

Replies (17) Good night (5769) Bad night (1180)
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(614): View more from Ohio

John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.

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(614): John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it. http://tfl.nu/stvk

Replies (8) Good night (954) Bad night (2764)
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(207): View more from Maine

Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.

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(207): Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them. http://tfl.nu/x39b

Replies (6) Good night (3530) Bad night (1449)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.

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(770): I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely. http://tfl.nu/2b5h

Replies (2) Good night (1069) Bad night (444)
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(740): View more from Ohio

You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j

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(740): You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j http://tfl.nu/94ee

Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (464)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub

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(905): I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub http://tfl.nu/k11n

Replies (4) Good night (474) Bad night (797)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins

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(412): You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins http://tfl.nu/ug6k

Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (462)
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(415): View more from California

After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.

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(415): After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling. http://tfl.nu/ibjl

Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (370)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.

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(978): I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out. http://tfl.nu/uwk8

Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (312)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.

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(317): Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night. http://tfl.nu/xh92

Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (225)

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