so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...