Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls? http://tfl.nu/pg74
  Replies (9) Good night (632) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support. http://tfl.nu/g29g
  Replies (4) Good night (654) Bad night (2502)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom? http://tfl.nu/36az
  Replies (238) Good night (4900) Bad night (1196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child. http://tfl.nu/zwuo
  Replies (16) Good night (1584) Bad night (3853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
  Replies (29) Good night (9562) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers http://tfl.nu/7izq
  Replies (31) Good night (5302) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good http://tfl.nu/rj3f
  Replies (19) Good night (5335) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet. http://tfl.nu/fy09
  Replies (16) Good night (6260) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms http://tfl.nu/7buk
  Replies (8) Good night (4456) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of. http://tfl.nu/pxlj
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (2317) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Is that what happened to my face?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders. (1-715): Is that what happened to my face?! http://tfl.nu/edsg
  Replies (3) Good night (1290) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers http://tfl.nu/32bd
  Replies (11) Good night (412) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7 http://tfl.nu/w1wq
  Replies (4) Good night (831) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/8lve
  Replies (5) Good night (568) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/hwpt
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt

Randomize