i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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