Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?

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(713): So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue? http://tfl.nu/mqzj

Replies (10) Good night (1437) Bad night (526)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3

Replies (508) Good night (86913) Bad night (8760)
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(586): View more from Michigan

sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.

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(586): sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey. http://tfl.nu/7b75

Replies (15) Good night (3524) Bad night (572)
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(620): View more from Kansas

My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

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(620): My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win. http://tfl.nu/w5au

Replies (53) Good night (12665) Bad night (781)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

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(901): Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives. http://tfl.nu/lbn9

Replies (29) Good night (4371) Bad night (3378)
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(210): View more from Texas

i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on

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(210): i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on http://tfl.nu/7n7l

Replies (9) Good night (2843) Bad night (1125)
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(224): View more from Illinois

At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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(224): At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk http://tfl.nu/rjll

Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (637)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

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(812): I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed. http://tfl.nu/eaqv

Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (1313)
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(310): View more from California

Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?

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(310): Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end? http://tfl.nu/mjc4

Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (491)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.

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(414): He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married. http://tfl.nu/rsec

Replies (7) Good night (661) Bad night (868)
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(818): View more from California

I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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(818): I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u http://tfl.nu/ckyh

Replies (4) Good night (667) Bad night (239)
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(801): View more from Utah

At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.

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(801): At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good. http://tfl.nu/03g0

Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (538)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.

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(601): Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you. http://tfl.nu/w325

Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (507)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.

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(403): Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up? (1-403): No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying. http://tfl.nu/1r8l

Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (141)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.

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(440): Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday. http://tfl.nu/90jw

Replies (4) Good night (324) Bad night (192)

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