Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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(310): View more from California

you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(831): View more from California

please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.

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(315): View more from New York

My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.

(1-315): View more from New York

I fucking hate you.

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(509): View more from Washington

The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up

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