Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me