When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
