I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
