I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
did i just pee glitter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
