YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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