This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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