im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?