Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.