And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN