Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
