but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
love makes seman taste better
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...