Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
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We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here