Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
