Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She's the barista slut.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs