okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's