do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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