i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize