I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
