On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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