JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!