everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
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is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.