I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.