Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.