halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."