New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
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Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...