how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
