did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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