I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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