You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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