carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
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Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.