Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.