im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize