I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
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What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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