it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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