We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dating After Heartbreak
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.