We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
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Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?