dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
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Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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