You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.