The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug