You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
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I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life