I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.