Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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  (770): He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle. http://tfl.nu/uuu6
  Replies (15) Good night (6361) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

  (954): View more from Florida

  Why wouldn't there be.

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  (704): Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower? (954): Why wouldn't there be. http://tfl.nu/wwnv
  Replies (28) Good night (7484) Bad night (656)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved

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  (613): you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved http://tfl.nu/t5ge
  Replies (33) Good night (7998) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.

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  (479): I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke. http://tfl.nu/g10c
  Replies (4) Good night (2744) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (860) Bad night (2275) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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  (607): She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her. http://tfl.nu/f1tk
  Replies (7) Good night (4266) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.

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  (970): found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night. http://tfl.nu/fgij
  Replies (1) Good night (1872) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that

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  (806): Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that http://tfl.nu/ovs4
  Replies (8) Good night (2493) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.

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  (972): About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised. http://tfl.nu/d2m0
  Replies (5) Good night (1366) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

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  (812): I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed. http://tfl.nu/eaqv
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (1236) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.

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  (415): I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/v9xu
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

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  (516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1114) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

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  (904): Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten http://tfl.nu/vxzl
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla

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  (615): Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla http://tfl.nu/8j5u
  Replies (3) Good night (227) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night

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  (512): Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night http://tfl.nu/ggi7
  Replies (1) Good night (188) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt

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