so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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