I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
