I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
