I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath