I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
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You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT