I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.