you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
