Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
