Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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