WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
