I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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