Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not