It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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