Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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